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Given the recent cold snap, turnips are unsurprisingly back in vogue - their mild yet wild colour combinations are perfect for aspiring polar-goths. Meanwhile, as spring moves into summer, carrots will make a resurgence, and their shimmering tones of Bronze Age weaponry will put clued-up foodies back in touch with their inner neanderthal, for a look that is both timeless and oh-so-now. In short, 2009 is the perfect year to go back to your roots!
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Tyneside: Boffs seek cold immunity gene

Bulgaria: "We are not a toilet"

Dog on a bike

Ireland's worst driver "not real"

Police "No help with crossword"

Dairy Milk "Contains milk"

God wins lawsuit on technicality

Pensioner must stop mowing

Bee Gees + CPR = win

Frog pizza: no deep pan option

Optimus Prime Heathrow ban

Pac-man: in text

Try jumping

Cleavage: Bad for bus drivers

Three ways to melt a rabbit

Blind Man was "dangerous driver"

Infinite monkeys Shakespeare failure

USAF will make you gay

Elephant darts